Here lies GirlFriday. Beloved worrier.

When I am an attorney no matter how much I inflate my time, no matter how many 15 minute letters I write in 5 minutes my clients will all be getting a deal. How is that possible? It's possible because I won't be able to bill them for all 24 hours in the day and thats how much of my time I'll be spending worrying about their case. I may be able to raise my hourly rate to compensate for the zits and the ulsters and constant gnawing dread, but I doubt it. You can't put a price on sanity or clear skin.

I'm here to tell you that this semester of law school might actually kill me. I may die of worry. If I do not die then I will need many, many more tubes of concealer. Trial Ad or as I prefer to call it- 2 hours of class, 6 days and 22 hours of torturous anxiety- might alone have been enough to make me pull out all my hair and walk around campus throwing it at people shouting, "Objection!" Luckily I get to combine this never ending party with the looming prospect of Hooding aka Graduation aka the point when I have to find a way to trick some unsuspecting law firm into hiring me. I would say kill me, but clearly that would be redundant.

I read Harry Potter in 11 hours and all I got was this stupid depression.

Unless you're mental do not continue if you have not read all seven Harry Potter books, there are loads of SPOILERS! below.



Look, I know this book was great. I REALLY enjoyed reading it while I was in the act of reading. I have never set a book down to take a deep breath so many times. I had to tell myself, "It's okay, Ron's not dead...he has to make it to the part with the treasure," about thirteen times before I could pick it up again at one point. I know that there are some moments that will make me squee upon every re-read and that I just haven't had the time to take in yet. Irregardless, finishing Deathly Hallows was rather hallow after all. I'm very glad Harry didn't die, but what stopped me in my tracks was that last title- NINETEEN YEARS LATER.

We have followed Harry step-by-step through seven years, and in a page turn we lost nineteen years. Even though I cried heavily when he was standing in that white mist and I thought Jo might actually have killed him, in a way it seems impossible that Harry will live on without us. Better than the alternative, but impossible and sad.

It's sad that we didnt' find out that much about how the trio ended up. It could be that Dumbledore's words about power forshadowed Harry would become Minister of Magic, but it was very subtle. All we really know is that they all finally became family for real, Harry forgave Snape and no one found a better way to get to Hogwarts than a train in nineteen years. In the end Harry got what we all get...a life.

In addition to the loss of leaving Harry his life beyond the page, this book held the loss of a mentor. Harry- probably inevitably- reached the point where the student surpasses the teacher. He became a better man than Dumbledore, stronger and more selfless. While it was nice to find out more about our mysterious headmaster, it also made him rather less mysterious. While in time the real Dumbledore with all of his faults will likely hold more value than the infallible man we knew before, it's hard to take him down from that pedestal. He used the wand that Harry gave up, he sought power over more than just evil and he allowed himself to die when Harry needed him because of desire to wield power over death. Believing that Dumbledore selflessly planned his death preserved his invincibility. It takes some getting used to...this flawed Dumbledore. Harry, on the other hand, seemed to be able to handle this news well. All he wanted was the truth, he didn't care if it was a duller truth. Perhaps because he's always felt so flawed himself.

Ron and Hermione were amazing in this book. From the moment that they revealed the lengths they were willing to go to for Harry. Putting not only themselves, but their families in danger and wisking Harry to safety at the wedding. It is easy to say that they had to do it, as Harry did, to save the world, but I always felt they cared more about saving Harry than anything. Harry wanted to save everyone. Ron and Hermione wanted to save him. I've found that amazing. Yeah, Ron was a prat there in the middle, but not because he realized he was giving up too much for Harry.

You know, I have officially talked myself out of my funk regarding this book. I'm going home to start my re-read. Only one thing left to do...

Thanks Jo for writing and for Harry Potter. Cheers.

Sometimes you feel like a hick, sometimes you don't.

If you live in Missouri and you are a reasonably articulate law student who doesn't like boots, trucks or animals, you can pretty much throw a rock and hit someone who is more of a hillbilly than you are. There are many days that i can look around and feel pretty sophisticated in comparison to the general population, but there are always those times that remind you that you ain't no city-slicker yet and that you will invertibley be asked if you are from Arkansas when you travel (which by-the-way even people from Missouri are offended by).

Some of these times might be when you have a long conversation with a friend about how you aren't sure you like living in the "big city" of St. Louis only to have her end up laughing at you b/c St. Louis so isn't a "big" city. Or when you find yourself looking around at the trees and the hills and and realize that you don't know how people live in a place like New York City where there is no space to just breathe.

And when it hits you that maybe you aren't so different from the people who think that flannel is still in style, Toby Keith is a god walking on earth and TGI Fridays makes a mean steak. And maybe you don't mind too much after all. You don't mind because you have a special place in your heart for the good ole' boys, you really do love trees and fresh air and it really is nice to see someone wave at you with all the nice fingers and smile when you walk by.

Justice may be blind, but it is not deaf.

Maybe we should have left the goddess of justice's hands free of scales so that she might cover her ears. While courts may not have a problem putting the rich and famous in jail, sheriffs and prison officials certainly must have a problem listening to the constant complaints and accusations of their legal, emotion and physical representatives.

How much should one Sheriff have to endure to prove that our legal system treats the rich and poor, famous and ordinary the same? Media camped out at the front door, heiress crying in her cell, shrink bitching about nervous breakdowns and malnutruition and attorney bitching about everything he can can think to I'm sure. After all this Sheriff has actual criminal imates to control and to apprehend.

I'll sleep the same at night whether Paris suffers a jail sentence or a unflattering accessory. After all, how many people have to suffer so that Paris can get punished?

23 days fly when you are having fun

I'm staying with my aunt and uncle this summer and there is something in my bathroom that makes me laugh everytime I see it (no it is not in the mirror). They have a hand towel with a Sylvia Plath quote on it. I know...questionable already right? But the quote is, "There must be a few things in life that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know what they are." I can only assume that the manufacturer of this towel has the greatest sense of irony I've ever encountered or is just plain stupid. I don't think my aunt gets the joke though.

p.s. The towel is pink and has a drawing of an ultra modern woman in the bath.

Never break in a new job and new shoes in the same week.

The above is good sound advice that I am currently learning the hard way.

Other things that have occured to me today include the vast economies of scale on Starbucks coffee. A tall latte at starbucks is $3.30 and a venti is $4.45. For about 25% of the cost, you can get a coffee that is well over 50% bigger. Either way it's a rip-off and as soon as they quit putting cocaine in it I will surely realize that.

You can go home again...

...and you should. But do not expect that blog updates will be as frequent in your first week (oh, guess I should have mentioned that before).

Never fear loyal readers I have a lunch break and blog updates will surely flow from this point on. Unless some innocent diversion shall impead me (it is summer after all).

More soon...

Family Values

Have you seen this show on TLC called 'Kids by the Dozen'? There is a marathon on today, and though I've been studying I've seen a family with 15, one with 16 and one with 13. Lots of people would call that...da da dum: SOCIALLY IRRESPONSIBLE!! Ah, the dreaded title. The horror of those who fly in the face of social norms and collective conciousness.

My grandpas both had twelve brothers and sisters, and one of my grandmas had nine. My other grandma (who is German and lived there until she was 30) has one sibling, a twin sister. My dad has one sister and my mom is an only child. I have one brother and no cousins (my dad's sister never had children). Oh what a difference a generation can make.

My grandfather has told me about how each of his brothers and sisters would help out to keep the family going. The families I've seen on television today are doing the same type of thing. It's a necessity, everyone has to pitch in to keep the family afloat. These days we don't think children should have to do much work though. Childhood is supposed to be carefree and fun. It's almost akin to abuse to have your kids changing diapers and cooking. Not to mention the horrible cruelty of second-hand clothes and toys.

I really don't know what my opinion is on all of this. I think my opinion may be that I don't really deserve to have one. After all, I don't want others to criticize my life choices. Besides what do I know about the joy or sorrows of a big family? I didn't even have to clean my own room until I was in high school, I never wore someone elses cast off clothes, and I have no idea what it means to help out or go without.

One thing that does stick out to me is the hypocracy of criticizing someone for making the decision to have a large family when we support so many "alternative" lifestyles these days. It's funny. It's okay to be gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, a swinger, masochistic, transgendered, ect. But those crazy freaks with all those kids...unacceptable.

Karma, bitch!

I really like to be right. It's one of my worst qualities. A while back I got taught a little lesson by fate, or karma, or God.

A friend and I disagreed about what artist wrote a particular song. I, of course, thought I was right and I knew I had the CD case in my trunk so I decided to prove it. The case was way in the back and I had to crawl back a little to get it. In order to do this I dropped my keys...you can guess what happened next I'm sure. Yes that's right, I locked my keys in my car trunk. Locked them in the trunk trying to prove a point about a song.

FYI: I was wrong, my friend was right.

I missed Heroes b/c of counterfeiters

This is what happened to me tonight.

I need to print something out. My copy card for the printers in the library is empty so I went to ATM #1, which is located in my building. to get cash to replenish it. ATM#1 was out of order.

No problem. I took a short walk across campus to ATM#2, located in a college dorm. ATM#2 has been converted to an exclusive US Bank ATM. I do not have a US Bank Card.

Fine. I call my friend who lives in my building to use her printer. She's not home.

Great. I walk out to the parking garage and to my car to go to ATM#3 a few miles away. My friend calls me back in route, but i decide to press on to ATM#3. I obtion the cash needed and drive back home, park and walk to the library. The law school is locked and my card isn't letting me in. Heroes has already started.

Whatever. I knock on the window and some chick opens the door. The two brainiacs already waiting and too dumb to think to knock on the window and I enter the building. I go to the library. The decidedly un-hitech card replenishing machine does not take multi-colored bills, which is what ATM#3 provided me with.

HOLY SHIT I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF! The guy at the circulation desk does not have any change. I call my friend back and tell her I changed my mind about her printer.

After wasting about twenty sheets of her paper trying to figure out how to get her printer to print on both sides of the page I have printed out my document. Heroes is over.

And that is how counterfeiters made me miss Heroes.

Unpopular Opinions

So I find myself, once again, with opinions contrary to that of the popular. Clearly I must voice them.

1. Why does everybody think the movie Elizabethtown is so bad. This just launched website, dedicated to bad movies, decided to feature it as their first bad movie. Is that like saying it is the worst movie ever? It's in my top five favorites ever. I laugh at every other line and I couldn't agree less with their contention that the characters' actions are random. I guess I just vibe with that movie in a way many people do not understand.

2. Today on The View (aside: I really don't watch daytime TV, but lately with nothing but studying for finals my breaks usually constitute TV or the internet so that is the reason for all the daytime TV posts lately) Joy Behar said, in reference to the Republican debates, that she couldn't believe that in this day in age people didn't believe in evolution. Well a) I don't believe in evolution and b) I live in the part of the country where A LOT of people don't believe in evolution. It just strikes me how out of touch someone who caters everyday to an audience of housewives who, most likely, are largely living in the midwest could not know that the half of the country that is religious does not believe in evolution. I mean at this day in age how can someone be so in their own bubble?

And the most embarrasing of the unpopular opinions...

3) I feel sorry for Paris Hilton. I do. I also felt sorry for Martha Stewert. I'm not going to try and justify it...I just do.

Law School Hell

I'm fond of referring to the lesser moments of my law school experience as moments in law school hell. At no time is the characterization more deserved than exam time. I thought I might give you a glimpse into the dark side.

Here in law school land students take final exams seriously. With good reason as, more often than not, the exam is worth your entire class grade. Most exams are three hours in length and may be made up of essays or over 100 multiple choice questions or some combination of the two. I don't know if it's the pressure of competition, the stakes or just a general obsessive need for control, but something makes most students get excessively overprepared in every way for an exam.

Now three hours is a long test, but in life most of us can get through that period of time without extensive provisions. I suspect I've spent many 3 hour periods without food, drinks, gum, medication, ect. But 3 hours of law school exam time requires provisions on scale with a nuclear fall-out shelter. Almost everyone at least brings water, in addition to water many people bring a soda, juice or an energy drink. A surprisingly large amount of people bring food: granola bars, peeled fruit, candy, ect. The girl in front of me today had a sleeve of peanuts and a pack of lifesavers. As an additional mesure of preparedness she opened the lifesavers, unstuck them, and layed them out of paper before the exam began. Some people bring good luck charms such as saints or coins. Some people bring a bottle of an OTC pain reliever (or Prozac disguised as such.) Most people have an excessive number of writing untensils. I myself had three pencils, three pens and a highlighter for today's test. Don't ask me what I thought would happen to five writing utensils that I might need a sixth...I just don't know.

I usually bring a beverage to a test, but I don't bring food or charms. I do bring peppermint lip gloss. There are several reasons for this. 1) peppermint is supposed to stimulate your memory, 2) lip gloss application provides small intermittent breaks in test-taking, 3) it's clearly become a test ritual that I'm not willing to acknowledge.

So yeah exams clearly make us crazy...some more than others.

Overheard at law school

A lot of these overheard websites have cropped up. For your enjoyment I submit: overheard at law school.

Overheard in: Women's Restroom

Lawgirl#1, running up to Lawgirl#2 and grabbing her left hand: "Oh my gosh let me see! Oh, it's so pretty congratulations."

Lawgirl#2 staring thoughtfully at her engagement ring: "Yeah, but it's really distracting during finals."

Kiss your guns goodbye?

I'm from the part of the country where most every law abiding citizen owns a gun. (I suppose most criminals own guns in every area of the country.) My father is a long time member of the NRA and you could say that most of the people in my family take their Second Amendment rights pretty seriously. You could also say that is a bit of an understatement.

It's hard to ignore what has been going on with guns lately. A string of shootings- CNN HQ, Virginia Tech, NASA, and now Kansas City. I'm betting that gun control enthusiasts will be out in droves. Added to that, the most vocal supporter of gun ownership is getting a little old to be waving rifles over his head. Is the day really coming where we will give up our guns?

I have to say that I believe in the right to bear arms. I also believe that the absense of a waiting period for guns in Virginia is unacceptable. I don't know if concealed to carry permits make us safer. I do know we would probably be safer without any guns whatsoever. But we do not live in a world of all or nothing and as long as the possiblity exists that one person might have a gun illegally, the argument exists that we would be safer if we were all allowed to have them.

When it comes down to it, a determined killer will find a way to take lives. If the V Tech shooter was determined to do what he did, he would not have let the absense of legally available firearms stop him. He bought his weapons over thirty days before the shooting, if a waiting period had been in place he would likely have been undetered. He was a determined killer.

It is so very (physically) easy to take a life. In a way, it's surprising that it doesn't happen more often. Most of us live in harmony every day never even thinking of hurting one another past, perhaps, a pop in the nose with a fist. When someone enters into the decision to take lives the means of execution is a formality. It's the decision we should watch out for.

Shifting the Burden

In law one party always bears the burden of proof. For example, in most criminal cases the prosecution has the burden of proving beyond a reasonable doubt that the person accused of the crime is guilty. In some circumstances the burden of proof can be shifted from the orginal party who bore it to the opposing party. When this occurs we generally say that the burden has been shifted.

It occurs to me that some people get through life only by shifting their burdens to other parties. I'm referring to tangible burdens such as duties or tasks, but also intangibles such as blame and responsiblity. What about emotional burdens? Did it ever occur to you that some people try to shift their emotional burdens onto others? Burdens such as pain, sorrow, worry, stress, ect.

I refer to those people who must constantly lament their troubles. Those who are forever complaining to others. Aren't these people trying to shift their burdens? Aren't they also those most likely to be shifting their duties on another occasion?

There is certainly nothing wrong with utilizing the shoulder of a friend or seeking advice. However, there is a line between lending a shoulder and lending a back. Some people want us to carry them. They want us to take on burdens we have no ownership over and, worse, they see it as our duty. Building up oneself by breaking down others is unacceptable. And doesn't it just break us down to be the recipient of a neverending diatribe of someone else's misfortunes? So if you bear a burden, bear it yourself and do not shift it to others. We are your friends, not your trash receptacles.

ER....what?

So ER has this commercial right now and of course it is all dramatic and shit. Whatever ER, after fifty-bazillion seasons even saving lives gets a little hum-drum. Not the point though. The reason this commercial is ridiculous is because right at the end it says, "All new episodes until the end of the season." No shit ER? You are going to show episodes until you stop? That is brilliant, thanks for informing me. Sheesh.

You are IN

Television Without Pity has a poll up that purposes the MOST AWESOME idea I have ever heard. Are you ready for it? Anna Wintour as a judge on Project Runway. Wouldn't that be the greatest event in television history? It should be the one where they have to make dresses out of plants or maybe the haute couture challange. Oh, who am I kidding...she should be a judge on every episode. I will never be able to enjoy Project Runway again b/c I will just be thinking how much better it would be with Anna Wintour.

What about Tom Cruise on The Apprentice or Sharon Stone on Flavor of Love? Or they could bring back that Fox show that put couples on an island to break them up and put Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker on there. Now that I would watch.

Avril Lavigne has made me see the light...

Are you scared yet? I'm one of those music fans who complains when artists change their sound. A really extreme example of this would be Nelly Furtado...I have LOTS of issues regarding the progression of her music. But through Avril Levigne I have had a 'come to Jesus moment' and I will stop my complaining. Why? Because Avil Lavigne is what happens when artists do not change their sound. Need I say more?

Story of a Monday

I wonder how this story will be told. There can be no doubt that it will be a tragedy. Yet even the saddest most tragic story has light and dark.

There will be victims. In death these victims will be pure. Cherubs pulled down from the skies before their time was spent. They are casualties of the deep dark places of life that mostly stay hidden. Through the story we will peek in, get a glimpse of these places-the endless holes of life's brutality.

The heart of the villan will be a place of much interest. Yet we will step away quickly. The endless darkeness is too chilling for a stare. At a glance we will see too much of what scares us about the world, and perhaps we will see a little too much of ourselves.

Besides victims and villans, there will be heroes. Their brightness will turn these brutal holes to shadows. Oh, I wonder who will be the heroes of this story? Who are these heroes that allow us to see ourselves reflected in the light in their eyes rather than the shiny black spaces of evil? Heroes allow us to go on.

In the end both the light and dark will dimish back into natural light. The story is told but not quite spent. The last page turned but the words kept locked in some corner of our minds. We never quite forget a tragedy.

It's weird how people have dreams...

Ever see the celebrity telling kids that *my dreams came true so can yours*? Ignoring the obvious fallacy in logic, is this not the biggest bunch of bullshit you have ever heard? The thing is...people tell you that you can do whatever you want when you are a kid. When I was a kid I thought I was going to go to Harvard. I went to a small private university with less students than my high school that my dad had attended roughly 25 years earlier. I was going to be #1 in my lawschool class, I'm not even #100. Life is damn disappointing people.

Maybe it's important to tell kids they can reach their dreams so they will be confident and happy and they will actually try to accomplish things. However I do think that when we all turn 25 and realize we are not, in fact, going to be the next Britney Spears that she should personally apologise for misleading us. We can't all be famous, influential and "great." Not even most of us can be these things. We can be good at something. We can be influential to someone. We can make a small mark on our part of the world, but most will not become infamous.

It's kind of hard to realize early in life that you are not where you pictured when you were 10 years old. Still, it's easier than continuing to believe you can make all your dreams come true and figuring out at forty that you can't. But back to the first point. In the beginning we believe that we can make it because others have before us. Those few that do, and tell others they can too, are true dreamers. They are the dreamers that still believe at forty when everything told them to quit at twenty-five. So we are left with this: 1% of true dreamers reach their own personal stars, but 99% don't. Therein lies the problem. For the chance to be part of the great 1%, you must risk being one of the disappointed 99%.

The law school admissions essay I should have written...

I was looking back over my law school admissions essay (personal statement). I'll spare you the details, but it got me to thinking about what I should have said to impress law school officials (now having two years of experience under my belt.) I present to you...the law school admissions essay I should have written:

I am most certainly the type of person who belongs in law school. I find nothing more enjoyable than reading material of absolutely no interest to me all day every day. I am incredibly fascinated by legal cases. I never tire of reading pages and pages of facts I will never need again just to discover a miniscule rule of law. I am at my best when mercilessly bombarded with complex questions in front of large groups of people with no notice.

I love to write exactly what you tell me to write in the exact order you tell me to write it in the exact format and language you desire. Research is my true passion. I could literally shred tears of joy at the prospect of rummaging through caselaw in an attempt to find a rule or precedent that in all likelihood does not exist.

I enjoy conforming to stereotyped ideas of what individuals in a certain profession should be. I only wear black suits with blue or white shirts and sensible shoes. I have no interests outside of the law. My best attributes are that I am hard-working, detail-oriented and a quick learner. I desire nothing more to recite this mantra over an over.

Most of all, above all the items listed above, I love to network. I dream about networking at night and wake up in the morning ready to network. My mouth has the permanent taste of someone else's ass. I am the true definition of a real go-getter.

So you see law school, you have no choice but to admit me. I am the perfect law student specimen. Thank you for your consideration I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards.

To be fair...

...Keith Richards' publicist says that he was not being serious when he said he snorted his father.

To which I say: I could see how something like that could just slip out.

When I die for the love of God do not snort me!

Okay first read this.

So to summerize Keith Richards snorted his dad's ashes with some blow. Let's take a moment and absorb.

Not being one to experiment with drugs I am unsure of the exact amounts of cocaine use it would take to think up this touching tribute. Maybe it was meant to be an homage to the fleeting nature of life, and highs. Maybe Keith was making some kind of social-political statement about the composition of drugs. Maybe he's out of his ever lovin' mind. The last is certainly probable.

My question is...What did he do with the rest of the ashes? A little in his coffee? Perhaps the morning eggs (or should I say mourning eggs?) Daddy chip cookies? Extremely 'special' brownies? Daddy with the laundry detergent...well it could go on and on really.

I bet Mr. Richards would have settled for the beach or the sea as his final resting place. Hell, even a nice Margarita on the rocks...now that's an afterlife!

That's right I flipped that shit...

So I don't watch America's Next Top Model, but long story short I did see some of the ANTM from about two weeks ago where they painted all their "models" up like murder victims. Specifically I saw the 'during the commercials of another show' parts. Let me just tell you that I got the jist of it. I saw some photos, heard Tyra say "fierce", and ignored a whole lotta whining.

Now even though I don't watch new episodes of ANTM, I am pretty familar with the show having stumbled upon a few to many VH1 marathons of the aforementioned and wasting many hours of my life that I will never get back. So let me say that these "violent" photos were some of the best and most interesting I've seen on the show. Enter controversy. As if you couldn't have predicted that people of the world might have objected to a bunch of women being portrayed as beautiful victims of violence. Not surprisingly, the backlash landed firmly in Miss I'm Tyra Banks and I Empower Women's back yard. Apparently telling women they look sexy all dead and bloody is not empowering (who knew, I like being told I'm sexy no matter what the circumstances).

I think I'm an anti-feminist Feminist. The easiest way that I can describe what I mean by that is to say that I don't like being treated differently then men in any circumstance. Including the special treatment b/c I am a woman and therefore a minority circumstance. I like to apply a rule I call "Flip that shit." In any situation which you think might be derogatory or damaging to women...flip it and apply it to men. If you would feel the same way about the situation applied to men then it's a bad situation. If you would not then you are being the kind of "feminist" (read: whiner) that I don't really appreciate.

So lets flip this shit. A bunch of male models posing as murder victims. Are we pissed about this? I think not. To me this is pure art and the people of the world need to shut the heck up about it already. Theory that these pictures were derogatory to women...busted. The end.

I'm all out of magic beans...

Reality. School. Jobs. Papers. Tests looming. What I wouldn't give for a giant beanstalk to climb the hell outta here. My giant would have a golden hen that laid jobs and a harp that played all the answers to my final exams. He probably wouldn't even chase after me. Giants are afraid of lawyers.

Spring Break

So I've missed a whole week of news and happenings while relaxing on Spring Break and trying hard not to pay attention to the world.

I will be back as soon as I remember what day it is.

Yeats was in the Irish Mafia?

William Butler Yeats said, "Too long a sacrifice can make a stone of the heart. O when may it suffice?"

Granted this quote was at the beginning of The Black Donnelly's tonight, which isn't the most profound place to get a quote. Still, it's pretty darn true. We all only have so much to give. I know I've had a person in my life who took so much that by the time I was done with my "sacrifice" I felt pretty indifferent toward them.

That's the kind of mistake that you only make once. A sacrifice so long that it teaches us a lesson about giving too much of ourself away. Too long a sacrifice does make a stone of the heart. A giving heart. Then again, maybe it's because we give for the wrong reasons, we sacrifice expecting something in return. Is this type of sacrifice really a true sacrifice at all? Maybe there's no such thing sacrifice too long if you aren't expecting something...some reaction in return.

This might be a long one folks...

Over the years I've learned the way to get along in life without pulling out all of your own hair and trying to fashion a rope to hang yourself is to master the art of shrugging off stupidity. This allows you ignore all the parts of life that try to annoy you into submission. I'm highly annoyable, but I've also learned to pick my battles. One battle I have trouble turning away from occurs when a group that I'm a part of begins to misrepresent me. It's been a banner week for this on a small and large scale. It's only Wednesday you say? I hadn't noticed.

Today I attended a presentation by a female professional in my field. The topic, the challanges that face the modern female attorney. The conclusion, that law firms must face changing times and quit holding women to the same standards and career paths as men. The rationale, it is inadvisable (perhaps impossible) for a woman to balance family and a man's career. The message as I see it: employers are responsible for giving woman an alternative career path by virtue of their wombs. The basic idea is that women should be able to be available to their family and thier children in the traditional homemaker role and be as successful in their careers as if they had not done so.

Am I the only woman who doesn't want special treatment because I'm handicapped by a uterus? Here's how I would break it down. The only ACTUAL difference between the parenting roles of men and women is that women have to physically carry a child for 9 months. Usually a woman can carry on her normal activities for most of this period and employers do a pretty decent job of accomidating her for the part of that time when she cannot. After the baby is born it is equally the responsiblity of both parties, mother and father. The fact that mothers tend to take on the role as primary caregiver is not the fault of employers. If men and woman share in family responsiblities equally then why is the mother the only party who requires a specialized "mommy path." Why do we expect employers to accept and accomidate professional mothers when families are unwilling to change the balance of caregiving responsibilities?

The truth is that most women choose to take on the role as primary caregiver and most men do not. Employers should not be held responsible for they way in which individual's choose to prioritize thier lives. If we were having a conversation regarding the career challanges of parents versus non-parents it would be different. In my opinion, however, you can't have a conversation about the mommy path without eventually coming around to the conclusion that women are different than men in that they are more emotionally connected to their role as a mother than their career and that they should not be penalized for this. I find that ludacris and therefore I cannot entertain a discussion regarding the mommy path. Choices are choices and they usually have consequences.

The second group that I have a beef with this week: Christian leaders. Here we go again with the religious world taking the hard line on a issue that hasn't even been fully articulated yet. So we have the Tomb of Jesus movie and we have the filmakers engaging in discourse regarding the existence of compelling evidence and the need for further investigation regarding the validity of this possiblity. These guys come off looking intelligent, responsible and accomidating. On the other side we have religious leaders getting all worked up and dismissing years of work on the part of those involved in this project with distain and without a second look. They end up looking like asses.

I have no problem with the Christian world refusing to accept that Jesus was not ressurected. I personally refuse to accept this, but why do they have to be such jerks about it. Why for once can't religious leaders realize that thier superiority complex does little more than isolate the general population. Real believers aren't likely to be swayed in their religious convictions by one day of headlines and non-believers might appreciate a little consideration on the part of Christians. After all, if we have so much faith why should we be afraid of investigating the facts of this discovery?

Some thoughts on the Grammys (in case you cared)

In no particular order:

Can we finally all agree that the Dixie Chicks are just awesome?

Natalie Maines is married to Nathan Petrelli from Heros? And according to Wiki they have two children? Were others aware of this?

I can't believe that John Mayer's worst album beat out JT, Christina and James Blunt! Christina was robbed!

What would a country singer have to do to get a standing ovation on the Grammys? I mean they already won all the awards not in Hip-Hop or Rap categories...how about a little love from the crowd.

I though Rascall Flatts and Carrie Underwood were amazing. I would love someone to get Carrie to record Desperado for mass consumption.

Can we all agree that Christina Aguilera is amazing? Oh wait, we already did.

I was totally rolling my eyes at the whole "my Grammy moment" contest, but when that girl got up there with JT and I thought about how awesome that was for her I completely caved. Plus, she didn't completely suck which helped.

Oh, Chris Rock...you still make me laugh.

Mandy Moore could not have looked more uncomfortable. Why does she all of a sudden think she is the most gigantic person in Hollywood?

Is Al Gore going to be on every award show this season? Just checking.

Scarlett Johansen is recording an album? Lord help us all.