Tuesday, November 01, 2011

My Romantic Comedy Character

It's a Zooey Deschenal world, baby. Quirky girls reign. Let's be real though, most of us are quirky girls at heart but we don't wear it out there for the world to see like a homemade dress and pigtails with bow-tied ribbons. We have learned to camouflage that shit. If I wore a plastic button shaped like a robot on my Dorothy Gale styled apron dress to work, my boss' eyes would pop out of his head. I also do not think it would help the "you are too young to be a lawyer" comments.

And yes, I am actually as clumsy as can be and it is decidedly not as cute as they make it look in romantic comedies. You know what happens when you fall on your face? You scrape your knees and then you can't wear dresses or skirts for two weeks and you have to wash your pants twice as much. OMG, so cute!

So, yes, whatever they could totally base a sitcom on me in theory but in actual, real life this is all stuff that I am overcoming not cashing in on. So anyway, my quirky girl romantic comedy qualities that totally make me irresistible according to Hollywood (ha ha):
  1. I fall down a lot. Did she just fall down AGAIN. Ha ha yes she did!
  2. I say stupid things that offend other people accidently. "Whoops your Halloween costume actually is slutty pumpkin, my bad."
  3.  I love sad songs and hate sad movies. (Contradictions make me a complex character. Unravel me.)
  4. I burn stuff when I cook. (Usually myself.)
  5.  I love to read and have tons of books. If only I wore reading glasses. Down boy.
  6. I love pop culture.
  7. I have shiny hair. What? Have you ever seen a romantic comedy where the heroin did not have shiny hair?
  8.  I am blunt, honest, tell it like it is. (I'm the only one who sees through his bullshit I must be the one.)
Of course all this just makes me the perfect woman for a straight chick. We all know what guys want- someone with nice boobs who loves the outdoors.
Fucking outdoors.

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