Things for which I am not Thankful

1. The "!" that lets people mark emails as urgent.
2. Text messaging.  For the love of all that is holy just CALL ME.
3. Tattoos.  I like tattoos but their existence has me forever questioning whether I should/will get one and that is just annoying.
4. Hiking, camping, floating and any other rustic activity that I am not into and therefore makes me high-maintenance or whatever.  (p.s. fuck you)
5. Location services (foursquare, ect.)  1. I don't care.  2. See #1.
6. That I am not magic.
7. Any type of workout where throwing up is encouraged or likely to result.
8. Herbal supplements.  (i.e. douche powder)
9. Pleated pants, mini skirts, midriff bearing shirts, anything with only one shoulder and shorts.
10. Dry Clean Only or Hand Wash Only.
11. Crocheted blankets and wool scarfs.
12. Wallets that are not long enough for money.
13. Reward cards, punch cards, plus cards and anything where you don't just give me the discount in the first place please and thankyou.
14. Annotated books.
15. Snow.
16. That rule where you aren't supposed to end sentences in a preposition.
17. Farting and burping.
18. How much Starbucks costs.
19. A car's "service window."
20. Alarm clocks.