You can't make this crap up

A homeless person got mugged down the road from the University yesterday. A homeless person got mugged! A homeless person!

This is the kind of shit that happens in the most dangerous city in the world. I mean come on! I'm just saying.

In other crime news...Prison Break was ridiculous last night. Could this show get any less realistic? I love it so much!

This is a non sequitur.

As I've mentioned I have tax law this semester. You gotta give the IRS credit for the things they catch people doing. Even though they only catch like 10% of tax-evaders it is definitely not a piece of cake, what they do. They are good at getting people for stuff you would think is hard to track. I won't be committing tax fraud anytime soon.

No such thing as bad publicity?

How does it feel to live in the most dangerous city in the country?

Not good. Not good at all.

It doesn't feel good that my dumb ass decided to rest itself in the least safe place in the United States of America.

I can tell you one thing, the 'rents are not going to take to this news at all.

My mom was just telling me how good the World Series win was going to be for the image of the city. I hope the city enjoyed its day of good publicity.

It's beginning to look slighly a little more like...

Home Alone was on TBS today. I'm not counting this as the first Christmas movie sighting of the year, but it is definitely a sign or some type of foreshadowing. It's an omen that How the Grinch Stole Christmas is on the horizon. It's like hearing an owl hoot in the daytime or whatever other creepy sign or legand tells you something horrible is coming.

It's the GRIM! (Harry Potter reference, please feel free to ignore.)

So we are now on high alert. We are orange, or whatever color it is that is bad. Constant Vigilance! (Sorry more Harry Potter.)

Also the movie Prime. Love it. It makes you want to be in a relationship with the wrong person so you can have that whole I love you enough to walk away thing going on. So dramatic.

I saw The Prestige this weekend. Very good, but once again Scarlett Johansen adds nothing to a movie. I just don't get her acting career. It seems like she takes every role that comes along and most of the time it should be some nobody playing the part that she decides to take for some unknown reason. I just IMDBed her to see if she's even been in a good movie and found out that she was in Home Alone 3. How ironic is that? In case you were wondering she has been in some good movies (In Good Company) to which she contributed nothing and some bad movies (Match Point) to which she contributed a lot. So to recap she plays unimportant roles in good movies and lead roles in bad ones. I guess this is why I have been convinced that I like her although after I see her movies I always wonder where i picked up that notion. Sounds like Ben Affleck.

I think Christian Bale is one of my new favorite actors. I loved Batman Begins and he was great in The Prestige. And then of course he was The American Psycho, which you were bound to forget until someone reminds you. Then you are like, "Damn, why am I at all surprised I like him?" Or maybe that's just me.

A prison for your mind...

Yes I've been watching the matrix again, so sue me...

Moving on.

I took a trip for fall break to beautiful Nashville, Tennessee. While I could say a lot about my trip, I will leave it at this: everyone should be so lucky to go for a drive through Kentucky and Tennessee when the leaves are changing. (Not that Missouri leaves aren't nice.) When I take a drive like that I can't believe that there are people that live places with no trees, no space and no open air. Also I can't believe that they would think I'm crazy for loving life in good ole' Missoura. I guess it's all about perception. I'll also say that Nashville is probably my favorite "city". Far superior to Saint Louis, but I guess it figures that I'd like a place where music pretty much grows up from the ground.

It is almost November and that means we have reached the holiday season people. Christmas is a mere two months away, fall semester is winding down, and the Cards just won the world series. Life is pretty positive right about now. I'm not even suffering from a case of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), even though it has been cold, rainy and dreary for days.

It's also election season, which is proving to be a interesting mixture of intriguing and annoying. I wish somebody would get Rush Limbaugh a muzzle. Conservatives are getting to be like Christians, we can hardly rise up for those in our membership dragging us down. (Also talking to you Mr. Foley-- thanks a bunch.) Thank God for the radical Muslims doing thier part to make us look a little less like fascists. Luckily America has a massive superiority complex so they can tolerate it in thier political parties. I did catch a Rumsfeld press conference the other day that was beautiful to behold. The sadistic side of me loves how he gets up there and spends the entire time ridiculing the press to thier face. If we can't get substance then I guess it's nice to have some amusement.

I'll be on the lookout for the first How the Grinch Stole Christmas of the season. Last year it was Nov 12th, but I have faith that record can be beaten.

The mystery continues...

We had a moment of silence for the law student who died over the weekend (see post below for backround) in my first class today. It was good for the teacher to acknowledge the loss, but she did it at the beginning of class which was kind of a mistake. People were walking in a couple seconds late to a classroom full of absolute silence and bowed heads. That would be freaky, I have no clue what I would have thought had I been one of them. I do think I would have had the presence of mind to remain quietly at the back of the classroom until action resumed. This one chick just busted right in and stomped over to her seat and slammed her bag down, you would think she might have caught on that something serious was happening. Anyway, it's hard to honor someone you know nothing about in a moment of silence. All I could think was, I hope he didn't commit suicide. Nice right?

No one has told us how he died yet, which kind of makes me think the worst. I'm a pessimist like that though.

Defensive Driving

Never heard the term Defensive Driving? Clearly you weren't raised in my home. Don't worry, I'm here to help you understand.

Basic Presumptions of Defensive Driving:
1. You are the only person on the road with adaquate driving skills. Everyone else only passed their tests through sheer luck or by sleeping with the examiner.
2. Everyone on the road is an idiot who is 1-2 seconds from ramming into you.
3. Defensive driving is the only thing standing between you and a horrible fiery death.

How to drive defensively:
1. Never trust a blinker. A blinker does not mean someone is turning. People don't know what they are for and use them wholly for thier own amusement. They also may be fascinated by the funny clicking sound it makes.
2. Never trust a green light. A green light does not mean go, it means pause and make sure that one last car isn't speeding through the intersection before proceeding. Contrary to popular belief, people do not let themselves be controlled by stoplights. To some people red simply means drive faster.
3. If there is a car stopped a crossroads to the street you are driving on, they are most certainly waiting for the opportunity to pull out in front of you. Slow down and poise your hand on the horn to fire a warning shot should they decide to move at all from thier standing position. Honk if they blink.

If you fail to untilize the basic tenants of Defensive Driving you will most certainly be involved in an accident. When you are it will be your fault. Even if the officers on the scene assess that it was the other driver's mistake that caused the collision, your father will most certainly say, "You should have been driving defensively."

itunes, we need to talk

I think there has been a mistunderstanding. See itunes, a while back I decided to make a mix CD of songs that I liked back in high school. What can I say, I thought it would be fun. Anyway, my friends and I had a blast singing along to it on a roadtrip to the lake and it's a fun throwback to the days of yore. Here's the thing itunes, just b/c I made a mix CD of 90's music doesn't mean that I'm the world's biggest fan of Shawn Colvin, The Smashing Pumpkins and Verve Pipe. Seriously itunes quit giving me recommendations to this music. "Based on your purchase of 'Sonny Came Home' by Shawn Colvin we think you might like Jewel." I don't like Jewel itunes. No one likes Jewel anymore. So just stop. I've bought lots of good music from you. Entire CDs of music that highlights my superior tastes. Okay so I bought one Paris Hilton song. Why do you have to focus on the negative itunes? Stop judging me! I think you need to leave now.

I guess Tim McGraw was right...

So today in Evidence class I'm checking my email and I have a message from the Dean of Students about a 2L that died over the weekend. I don't recognize the name of the student so I decide to look him up in the online student directory, which has pictures. When I see the picture I realize that it's the guy that sits beside me in that very class (obviously he's not there today).

All I could think about was how much it would suck to die after spending the last year and a half in law school. What a waste of the last 1.5 years of your life.

Sound Off

Things that are bugging me this week(end):

1. Sports

I know people like to watch sports on TV, but I am not one of those people. Sometimes I will watch football (when the Superbowl is on). Anyway the stupid playoffs for stupid baseball, my absolute least favorite sport (seriouly baseball is so freaking boring-anyway), are interfering with the FOX television schedule. FOX is taking half their shows off the air for several weeks so they can show baseball playoffs. You know what annoys me most about baseball? All the dang games they play. What is with the "series" obesession. Just play one game, see who is the best, and pull the trigger on this damn thing already. Then you could have your precious playoffs on the weekends and leave my televsion shows alone. Baseball is selfish. You don't see other television programs coming on day after day all interruping everything and selfishly monopolizing WEEKS worth of television.

My second major problem with sports concerns St. Louis Blues hockey, which takes it upon itself to interupt my television watching on the WB (now CW) during its season. This is especially annoying because they don't put the shows on hiatus but relegate them to Saturday afternoon at 5p.m. or something like that. Something is always going on Saturday afternoon and you always forget that the show got moved and then you miss it. Saturday at 5 p.m. is an open spot for a reason. Damn you hockey! The thing is NO ONE cares about St. Louis Blues hockey. No one. If I did care about it I could probably buy a ticket for like 2 cents and three peanut M&Ms and haul my happy ass down there to watch it live. Screw you St. Louis Blues, quit holding Gilmore Girls hostage on Saturday nights. Someday Lorelai is going to destroy you.

2. CNN

Okay you lazy bastards at CNN, I have a bone to pick with you too. What is with all the video news posts on the website. I log onto the main newspage to, you know, read about world events and shit and there aren't any articles. Just videos, lots of videos. Listen CNN I know it's primarily about the television for you, and I know you probably have a limited amount of people around there who can write but still. I'm pretty sure I heard that Anderson Cooper writes a blog, see he can write, maybe you could have him translate some of those videos into news stories. Too much work for a Vanderbilt? I see. Okay but seriously! I'm all for the option of see the video after reading an article for those visual learners and the illiterate, but I can't be watching a video for every little piece of news you have. I have shit to do. If I had time to go out there and just watch the news happen I wouldn't need you. Don't think I don't know why you put up those videos CNN, I do. I didn't miss that little commercial you always stick in at the beginning...advertising bucks. Still CNN, I'm all about the honest (?) dollar but you are pissing me off. You don' t want to piss me off CNN.

3. John Mayer

Oh, John Mayer, why did you have to become part of the problem? Did you really think encouraging sitting around and "waiting for the world to change" was a good way to go? Laziness and complacency John Mayer? This is your bright idea? Did you even think before you got out the pen and paper and put your misguiding words to a catchy, soulful tune? You are not Green Day. Please go back to singing about women, screwing up and disappointing you daddy. You know? Things you know about. Oh, except for women.

p.s. I love you don't take this personally.


The End.