Monday, February 22, 2010

From now on I will be eating my lunch alone in the bathroom.

You know that situation? The one where Friend One gets into a fight with Friend Two and then you decide you need to stick up to Friend Two on behalf of Friend One. And then Friend One and Friend Two make up, but now Friend Two hates you. I lived in that situation in high school. I just couldn't seem to let people fight their battles. And then finally, the last time this happened, one of the many Friend Twos called me out, loudly, in the high school cafeteria during lunch about adherence to the side of Friend One and my overall poor behavior regarding the situation and i was e.m.b.a.r.r.a.s.s.e.d. Also, I finally finally finally learned my lesson.

Since then I have been Switzerland (Sweden? (whichever one of those "neutral" countries.)) Being neutral hasn't been without its own problems. I have been accused of a lack of loyalty, of not being "there" for friends, but I have done a reasonably good job at staying out of other people's battles. I give advice and opinions when solicited- sometimes heavily weighed to one side or the other- but I stop short of getting so invested that I become collateral damage of the disagreement. Until this weekend.

This weekend I was a witness to a situation. A marital related situation. It may have been a completely innocent situation, I do not know and, really, it is none of my business. Regardless, the witness(es) (of which there were more than one) cannot un-witness. I was Sweden without any neutral territory- old, familiar Friend Three with no where to hide from the inevitability of ending up avoiding someone in the lunchroom. So, here I am, with shrapnel in my leg assessing the damage done in the rubble of someone else's problem.

If you think you could have done better I invite you to turn back the wheel of time and give it a try. Sometimes there is no ground to stand on that is not perilous and no future that is not full of consequence.

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