A little late

So I thought I would do a post about the things I am thankful for. It's a little past Thanksgiving, but I figure it's always a good time to be appreciative of the things that make life nice.

Things I am thankful for...

1. Television

Seriously. Thank God for TV. I am so happy to have escaped covicts, genetically evolved superheros, regular superheros, lostaways, dramatic highschoolers, rich dramatic highschoolers and much, much more at my fingertips. I think if I had to choose between television and running water it would be a toss up.

2. Breaks

I hear we in America take a lot less vacations then everyone in the rest of the world. That doesn't really make sense though b/c we are still the laziest and fattest nation in the world. How does that work? Maybe it has something to do with the above. Screw it, who cares, this post is supposed to be about thankfulness.

3. Latinos, the Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Italian and Thai.

Where would we be without ethnic food? Imagine if all we had to eat was burgers, mac and cheese and mashed potatoes. Okay well it sounds bad to me.

3 and 1/2. Peppers

I am thankful for peppers because I hate bland food.

4. A boring family

I'm glad we are boring b/c that means we are doing well and are happy. It may be more exciting to have a family who yells and fights and chases each other with the carving knife but I'll take my nice boring family.

5. Jesus

If all he did was give us Christmas that would be enough, but the whole salvation thing was really the icing on the cake.

6. The Internet

It killed wonder and I now happily have a lot more time to think about other stuff. Like celebrity break-ups and how hot Johnny Depp is.

7. Laws

Because someday I'm going to make a lot of money helping others circumvent them.

8. The Mall

Because shopping makes everything all right.

9. Politicians

Because without them my family would only have Religion to talk about at the dinner table. Believe me you prefer the political discussions.

10. Frat Parties

Without them my parent's love may never have blossomed and I might not exist.

It's beginning to look slighly a little more like...

Home Alone was on TBS today. I'm not counting this as the first Christmas movie sighting of the year, but it is definitely a sign or some type of foreshadowing. It's an omen that How the Grinch Stole Christmas is on the horizon. It's like hearing an owl hoot in the daytime or whatever other creepy sign or legand tells you something horrible is coming.

It's the GRIM! (Harry Potter reference, please feel free to ignore.)

So we are now on high alert. We are orange, or whatever color it is that is bad. Constant Vigilance! (Sorry more Harry Potter.)

Also the movie Prime. Love it. It makes you want to be in a relationship with the wrong person so you can have that whole I love you enough to walk away thing going on. So dramatic.

I saw The Prestige this weekend. Very good, but once again Scarlett Johansen adds nothing to a movie. I just don't get her acting career. It seems like she takes every role that comes along and most of the time it should be some nobody playing the part that she decides to take for some unknown reason. I just IMDBed her to see if she's even been in a good movie and found out that she was in Home Alone 3. How ironic is that? In case you were wondering she has been in some good movies (In Good Company) to which she contributed nothing and some bad movies (Match Point) to which she contributed a lot. So to recap she plays unimportant roles in good movies and lead roles in bad ones. I guess this is why I have been convinced that I like her although after I see her movies I always wonder where i picked up that notion. Sounds like Ben Affleck.

I think Christian Bale is one of my new favorite actors. I loved Batman Begins and he was great in The Prestige. And then of course he was The American Psycho, which you were bound to forget until someone reminds you. Then you are like, "Damn, why am I at all surprised I like him?" Or maybe that's just me.

A prison for your mind...

Yes I've been watching the matrix again, so sue me...

Moving on.

I took a trip for fall break to beautiful Nashville, Tennessee. While I could say a lot about my trip, I will leave it at this: everyone should be so lucky to go for a drive through Kentucky and Tennessee when the leaves are changing. (Not that Missouri leaves aren't nice.) When I take a drive like that I can't believe that there are people that live places with no trees, no space and no open air. Also I can't believe that they would think I'm crazy for loving life in good ole' Missoura. I guess it's all about perception. I'll also say that Nashville is probably my favorite "city". Far superior to Saint Louis, but I guess it figures that I'd like a place where music pretty much grows up from the ground.

It is almost November and that means we have reached the holiday season people. Christmas is a mere two months away, fall semester is winding down, and the Cards just won the world series. Life is pretty positive right about now. I'm not even suffering from a case of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), even though it has been cold, rainy and dreary for days.

It's also election season, which is proving to be a interesting mixture of intriguing and annoying. I wish somebody would get Rush Limbaugh a muzzle. Conservatives are getting to be like Christians, we can hardly rise up for those in our membership dragging us down. (Also talking to you Mr. Foley-- thanks a bunch.) Thank God for the radical Muslims doing thier part to make us look a little less like fascists. Luckily America has a massive superiority complex so they can tolerate it in thier political parties. I did catch a Rumsfeld press conference the other day that was beautiful to behold. The sadistic side of me loves how he gets up there and spends the entire time ridiculing the press to thier face. If we can't get substance then I guess it's nice to have some amusement.

I'll be on the lookout for the first How the Grinch Stole Christmas of the season. Last year it was Nov 12th, but I have faith that record can be beaten.

The Freshmen

When I was young I knew everything
She a punk who rarely ever took advice
Now I'm guilt stricken,
Sobbing with my head on the floor
Stop a baby's breath and a shoe full of rice

I can't be held responsible
She was touching her face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

My best friend took a week's
Vacation to forget her
His girl took a weeks' worth of
Valium and slept
And now he's guilt stricken sobbing with his
Head on the floor
Thinks about her now and how he never really
Wept he says

I can't be held responsible
She was touching her face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

We've tried to wash our hands of all this
We never talk of our lacking relationships
And how we're guilt stricken sobbing with our
Heads on the floor
We fell through the ice when we tried not to
Slip, we'd say

I can't be held responsible
She was touching her face
And I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and
We'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe
We'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen
We were merely freshmen

This felt valentine-y to me today. That's probably not good, please disregard this obvious cry for help.

Oh yeah, Happy Valentine's Day.

p.s. please don't shoot

Twelve Days of Finals

On the FIRST day of Finals my lawschool gave to me...a breach of an implied in law contract.
On the SECOND day of Finals my lawschool gave to me...two felony murders and a breach of an implied in law contract.
On the THIRD day of Finals my lawschool gave to me...three concurrant tortfeasors, two felony murders and a breach of an implied in law contract.
On the FOURTH day of Finals my lawschool gave to me...four pretrial motions, three concurrant tortfeasors, two felony murders and a breach of an implied in law contract.
On the FIFTH day of Finals my lawschool gave to me...five officious volunteers, four pretrial motions, three concurrant tortfeasors, two felony murders, and a breach of an implied in law contract.
On the SIXTH day of Finals my lawschool gave to me...six drunks A-driving, five officious volunteers, four pretrial motions, three concurrant tortfeasors, two felony murders, and a breach of an implied in law contract.
On the SEVENTH day of Finals my lawschool gave to me...seven theifs A-larcening, six drunks A-driving, five officious volunteers, four pretrial motions, three concurrant tortfeasors, two felony murders and a breach of an implied in law contract.
On the EIGHTH day of Finals my lawschool gave to me..eight offerees A-bargaining, seven thiefs A-larcening, six drunks A-driving, five officious volunteers, four pretrial motions, three concurrant tortfeasors, two felony murders and a breach of an implied in law contract.
On the NINTH day of Finals my lawschool gave to me...nine uncollapsed jurisdictions, eight offerees A-bargaining, seven thiefs A-larcening, six drunks A-driving, five officious volunteers, four pretrial motions, three concurrant torteasors, two felony murders and a breach of an implied in law contract.
On the TENTH day of Finals my lawschool gave to me...ten chattels A-converting, nine uncollpased jurisdictions, eight offerees A-bargaining, seven theifs A-larcening, six drunks A-driving, five officious volunteers, four pretrial motions, three concurrant tortfeasors, two felony murders and a breach of an implied in law contract.
On the ELEVENTH day of Finals my lawschool gave to me...elevens promisors promising, ten chattels A-converting, nine uncollpased jurisdictions, eight offerees A-bargaining, seven theifs A-larcening, six drunks A-driving, five officious volunteers, four pretrial motions, three concurrant tortfeasors, two felony murders and a breach of an implied in law contract.
On the TWELFTH day of Finals my lawschool gave to me...twelve conspirators conspirating, eleven promisors promising, ten chattels A-converting, nine uncollapsed jurisdictions, eight offerees A-bargaining, seven thiefs A-larcening, six drunks A-driving, five officious volunteers, four pretrial motions, three concurrant tortfeasors, two felony murders, and a breach of an implied in law contract.

O Christmas Tree

Ode to a fake Christmas tree:

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
Thy leaves are so flame retardent;
O Chirstmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
Thy leaves are so flame retardment;
Not only lean just to the right,
But also burn with electric light.
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
Thy leaves are so flame retardent.

My beautiful Christmas tree, aesthetically pleasing and compliant with all fire and building codes. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas (oh no I could redo that song too...another day)!

Loot!

First of all let me apologize to my loyal readers (yeah right). I have been remiss in my updates but I have good excuses. Number one, I caught a virus (a computer virus). Stupid me actually thought I got an email from the FBI and opened an attachment with a virus in it. A word of advice, the FBI doesn't send emails with questionnaires...they just come for your ass. Secondly I went home (to Springfield) for the Holiday weekend.

Now, good news! I got a new computer, which effectively eliminates the virus issue and I'M BAAAAACK in St. Louis...just ahead of some pretty nasty weather including a tornado (eeek!). Also, very exciting news, I got an IPOD...already so awesome. I spent much of today studing Contracts and uploading my CD's into I-Tunes. Which I am still doing.

I saw Walk the Line (Sheena!) on Saturday night. It was very good. I couldn't believe how well they sang and Reese Witherspoon was adorable. I was also interested to find out that Tyler Hilton played Elivis Presley. A realitively minor part but still. I doubt the first Mrs. Cash appreciates how she was protrayed, but it was based on Johnny's two autobiographies and his (and June's) son John Carter Cash was an executive producer so you know it was at least true to his point of view. Note to self: Ask Sheena if Johnny really did propose to June on stage.

Sucks to be back at school, but only three weeks left.

Forever 22

It has been a long time since I had a birthday that wasn't a big deal...

At sixteen you get to drive.
At seventeen you are that perfect "not a girl, not yet a woman" age.
At eighteen you become an adult and get to vote.
At nineteen you become more of an adult and first birthday away from home.
At twenty you leave the "teens" behind.
At twenty-one you get to drink.
Twenty-two is the perfect age...young but not a child.

Twenty three is the beginning of REAL adulthood. No more fun birthdays, only wrinkles to look forward to. I want to stay twenty-two.

p.s. My birthday is is 13 days. I plan to turn twenty-two for the second time.

How the Grinch stole Thanksgiving

Every Who Down in Who-ville Liked Thanksgiving a lot...

But the Grinch,Who lived in the company accounting department, Did NOT!
The Grinch hated Thanksgiving! The whole Thanksgiving season! Now, you ask why?
No one quite knows the reason. It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. But I think that the most likely reason of all may have been that his pocketbook was two sizes too small.

But,
Whatever the reason, His pocketbook or his shoes, He stood there on November 1st, hating the Whos, Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown At the decoration less windows below in their town. For he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneath should be busy now hanging a mistletoe wreath.

"They’re not hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer, "Not until after Thanksgiving! No Christmas shopping here!" Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming, "I MUST find some way to stop Thanksgiving from coming!"

So, the Grinch stood there, with his fingers drumming awhile,
And then the Grinch, began to smile.
For the Grinch had an idea.
An awful idea!
THE GRINCH
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

And so Christmas started right after Halloween. Thanksgiving was never again to be seen!

….I had the pleasure of partially viewing the season’s very first showing of How the Grinch Stole Christmas at approximately 6:30 p.m. tonight. It’s November 12th and Christmas is here! Lord help us all.

Trick or Treat?

So we all know how Halloween used to be known as all hollows eve and that it was believed to be the night when the boundry between the world of the dead and the living was opened. Did you ever wonder though, how that became trick or treating? A quick visit to The History Channel website and you'll have your answer. You can read up, but the jist of it is that the community decided to give children "treats" so the children didn't given them "tricks". A bribe, in effect, to make children behave like better citizens. Hmmm, much like Christmas if you think about it. Wow, is every holidy just about lulling children into complacency? I feel I may have given up my immortal child soul for a miniature Snickers bar. How very sad. In my next life you're all getting the trick!